Learning Lifeguard with Esther Wilkison

Slow Down! You’re Learning Too Fast.

Esther Wilkison — Thu, 03 Aug 2017 20:54:43 +0000

Coast to coast travel used to take weeks by stagecoach. Trains speed the process up quite a bit. Now, I routinely fly Atlanta to Los Angeles in about 4 hours.

Technology has sped up how we travel, cook, and communicate. However,

speeding up learning

tends to backfire.

Many an adult is amazed at how quickly a child can memorize. Memorization, however, is not deep learning. Without an understanding of context and development of the skills necessary for application, the knowledge gained is merely surface learning.

There is a push in many circles for “accelerated learning.” My heart breaks as I think about how many children are convinced they are stupid because they could not keep up under the unrelenting pressure of the high-intensity drill and kill approach. It would be easier to do “accelerated baking.” In fact—if you want to try “accelerate baking” just put cookies in the oven and turn the oven up as high as it will go. What you cook will indeed bake quickly—but it will end up burned on the outside while still raw on the inside.

Burned is a good way to describe many children who are burned-out on learning—some as early as kindergarten or first grade. Because the expectations were beyond what their development was capable of in preschool or kindergarten, many live their lives thinking they are stupid and incapable.

On the other hand, some surface learners receive applause for surface memorization and get arrogant. Parents and teachers are often baffled by the number of surface learners who can ace memory tests yet struggle with problem solving and sticking to hard tasks.

When God commanded the Israelite nation to teach their children, He did not tell them to assign their children what to memorize. He spoke of telling stories as you rise up and sit down. Of cooking meals without leaven to help them reenact their history. Of physically doing things like killing an animal and applying the blood to door posts. All of these are things that make abstract ideas (like Passover) real to the children.

In our fast-paced society we think that adding more pressure will somehow move the process along more quickly. The stress often makes it harder for children to sleep which makes it harder for the brain to translate short-term memories into long-term usable learning. We get upset at children for all they forget when the pace we set often leads to the forgetting.

When it comes to a fine dinner we pay more for food cooked slowly by a capable chef. We know that it has more nutrition and taste than fried fast food.

When a baby is born premature, it does not mean the baby is somehow advanced because it was able to lop off time from the normal gestation period. No, premature babies often have to fight for their life because they lack the nutrition and time for development that normally would take place in the security of a mother’s womb.

Don’t buy the lie that faster is better.

Give children and teens the gift of time

to develop at a pace that is supportive and nurturing.

In an age when others are pushing children to grow up faster, if you slow down you might end up with some well-nourished, fully developed deep learners who can understand and apply what they have learned.

Make Learning Look Like Life

Esther Wilkison — Mon, 20 Mar 2017 13:14:11 +0000

My third grade teacher did something amazing. She authorized us to pass notes in class. Not kidding. We could send and receive notes as long as we wrote in letter form with heading, greeting, body, close, and signature. We also had to put it in an envelope with the full address, return address, and a self-designed stamp. We turned in our completed letters to our in-class post office. Yep. For real! We had a HUGE post office inside our classroom. It was big enough for a student desk inside. Once a week someone was selected to be postmaster. Being postmaster was one of the most amazing jobs because you got to see who wrote letters and then deliver them to your classmates. My third grade teacher took us to our local post office so we could learn the system our class post office was modeled after. No doubt, billions of third graders have been taught how to write a letter, but by giving us a way to send and receive letters that was like the real-life system—my teacher taught me the joy of communication. My writing was not something for her to mark errors, add a grade, and return so it could be thrown away. My writing was something to send to someone else who would open it, read the message, and hopefully write back. Sender. Message. Receiver. That’s what real communication requires. That’s what she gave us. No surprise to me that by junior high I had pen palls all around the world. I had learned the joy of writing and receiving letters. That joy of communicating is why kids (and adults) love to text. We want to send thoughts out and have someone read and respond. Without the receiver it’s hard to work up the energy as a sender to come up with a message. How could you implement an idea like this? Here are some ideas to consider. 1. Put a mail box on your teacher desk or in an area where you have your homeschool base. Let children write you notes and put the flag up when a letter is inside your box. If they write, write them back! You may find this a marvelous means of developing a connection to disciple them. 2. Whatever you teach—find ways to make it look more like life than like school. Pretending to do something (like be a letter carrier) helps students see the connection between learning now and employment later. Pretending is amazingly effective for learning. (If you don’t believe me—talk to pilots who do simulations to learn their flying skills.) 3. Think through what you want your students to remember from your class or homeschool. If possible, put something dramatic and life-based in or near your school room. What ever it is—a pretend grocery story, a reading boat, a garden—take your class or this year’s family picture near it and give each of them a copy. This tangible image may forever remind each child how you helped prepare him or her for some aspect of life.

The Success of Failure

Esther Wilkison — Tue, 25 Oct 2016 21:03:01 +0000

I remember the first time I watched Destin’s Backward’s Brain Bicycle episode in his show, Smarter Every Day. My biggest take away from his experience was realizing that learning looks a lot like failure. If he were being graded on performance he would have received a failing grade day after day after day until the day his brain learned the skill he had been working on. One of the big lies of learning that many children and adults believe is that if you are smart learning comes easy. Destin is clearly not deficient in brain capacity. He looked like a slow learner because developing new neuronal pathways in his brain is often a slow process. When pathways form, they are more like dirt roads. Traveling dirt roads is bumpy and slow. Only after that pathway are traveled over and over does it become paved by a process called myelination. Watching Destin’s video reminds me that

God designed the brain to learn; Therefore: I can learn. This is why I’m not giving up in specific areas of my life where I have failed for decades. This also gives me hope in teaching others, even when they appear to fail over and over. What looks like failure is sometimes the path to success.
Beware of assessing just what your students know about a topic. Instead assess actual skill in application. Remember Destin said “I had the knowledge of how to operate the bike, but I did not have the understanding. Therefore, knowledge is not understanding.”
Grades given for effort may at times be more closely tied to actual learning than grades based on performance. Our progress may look abysmal while we are in the process of learning. Eventually we may need to demonstrate performance in a skill to get a passing grade or certification. However, some skills take some of us longer to grasp. We are not failing at learning, our brains may just need time to unlearn other pathways so that we can grasp the desired skill well.
Motivation alone cannot make us competent in a skill. Destin offered $200 for audience members to ride his bike10 feet. The money was motivating, but they could not do it.
Space practice wisely. Skill development is often achieved more in short bursts of focused effort. This is especially true when developing the skill maxes out our frustration level. Destin practiced 5 minutes a day for 8 months, not 8 hours a day for a few days.
When we attempt to learn new ways of doing things, we go through a time when we don’t have our old rut or the new way. This is what makes learning new skills feel frightening. We want to learn something new in order to improve, but the acts of learning can make us regress instead of progress. Keep in mind (for you and for those you teach) that this regression is temporary and is leading to actual progress as long as we don’t give up.Thank you, Destin, for sharing your experience on the Backwards Brain Bicycle. Your persistence encouraged me to keep working at the skills I want to learn even when it looks like I’m failing.What failures have lead to success in learning for you?

Color & Comprehension

Esther Wilkison — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 19:58:34 +0000

It all started with orange. I’m not sure why I decided orange was the perfect color for questions, but I started using an orange colored pencil to mark questions in my Bible. I started in the gospel of Mark keeping track of the questions people asked of Jesus, as well as questions Jesus asked of others. When I finished, I wrote the questions out and looked for patterns and things I could learn from how Jesus asked questions. I highly encourage you to get an orange pencil and see for yourself.

Marking questions got me actively engaged in the text. I was hooked. I decided to extend my color scheme. Blue is my all time favorite color so I started using that to mark verses that told me something about God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. If you really want to get to know a friend, you pay attention when they tell you something about themselves. I love looking back over a day’s reading to see what God was telling me about what He is like. Often it is what I’ve underlined in blue that works its way into my prayer and praise time as I journal after reading.

I didn’t want to overcomplicate my time in the Word, but I found there were more things I wanted to mark. I added yellow for promises. It is the only color I use to highlight over the words. I love noticing the promises. Sometimes a verse shows something about God and includes a promise—so that verse gets blue underline and yellow over the words.

As a teacher, I love looking for verses that specifically discuss learning, teaching, and growing. Green seems an appropriate color for those. Red looks commanding so I use it for commands. I use brown for verses that teach on prayer. Every now and then I find a verse that doesn’t fit any of my other categories, but it makes me think. I’ve decided to use purple for verses like that.

Now that we are in the midst of a color-book craze, quality colored pencils are easier to find at a great price. I keep a set with my printed Bible. My Logos Bible on my electronic devices also allows for underlining in color—though it’s a little more complicated.

When I get the opportunity, I now teach the color scheme as a way to help students struggling with comprehension to get actively involved in their reading. I can see this concept working well in school subjects also.

While coloring in a color book can help with fine motor development, I commend coloring as you read your Bible over coloring in a color book for three reasons—

It helps focus your mind actively on God’s Truth.
It gets you physically participating in your Bible reading.
It helps you see at a glance what you are learning.

Not sure you would use the same colors I use? That’s okay. Pick your own. I recommend you start with orange.

Beware the Frown Lines

Esther Wilkison — Sat, 20 Aug 2016 11:00:00 +0000

Back in high school when I was playing basketball, my poor eye-hand coordination earned me a rather consistent spot on the bench. When the coach did put me in the game, my dominant emotion while playing was frustration. When I missed the rebound or missed my shot (both regular occurrences) my ever-expressive face showed my frustration. I was stunned when my coach told me my team-mates thought I was upset at them. Why would they think that? I was upset at myself for my lousy playing, but they only saw my upset face.

I think of that when I see a struggling student head towards his teacher or parent to ask a question. If you are that teacher or parent, you may frown because you are not sure how to help. Your frustration at not knowing how to help your child may be what is causing the furrows along your forehead. However, all the child approaching you sees are those frown lines.

For many of us who struggle, those frown lines are an extremely familiar sight. It’s easy to think that we are causing the upset in the world and we should stop bothering the important people. Many kids stop trying because when they try, they need help—yet when they seek that help—they seem to upset the helper.

Back on the basketball court I needed to learn to control both my frustration and my face. I’ve had to do the same when trying to help children learn. When a student comes needing yet more explanation, instead of recounting to myself how out-of-answers I may feel, I need to flash them a big smile as I ask God for grace to help in time of need.

Rehearsing my shortcomings at teaching the lesson? Not productive or helpful in that moment. Rehearsing the child’s shortcomings at diligence and comprehension? Also not productive or helpful—and perhaps not true. What is helpful is remembering the following.

Who the child is: an image-bearer of God and therefore worth respect and help.
Who I am: the stand in for Jesus Christ in this room. This moment to help is a moment to model the gentleness, patience, and kindness of Jesus.
Who God is: the One who, when we ask for wisdom, “gives generously to all without reproach” (James 1:5). Without reproach: no frown of disappointment, no body language of disapproval.

I can imagine the objections—“Won’t she just become dependent on me?” “Shouldn’t I make him do it on his own?” “

Legitimate questions. Part of our job is not only to teach the skill at hand, but to instill confidence. Confidence grows when children accomplish tasks they are capable of without the training wheels of our help. The tricky part is knowing when to help and how to help. All that takes wisdom specific to that child and the situation. What a blessing that you have access to God as your Father so you can go to the One who promises to give you wisdom…without the frown lines.

Teach Spelling Using All 3 Doors—Part 2: Auditory & Participation

Esther Wilkison — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 16:01:43 +0000

I got stuck trying to write the word coupon last week. If I had followed the advice of my elementary teachers I would have sounded it out which would have left me writing qupon.

I knew that was wrong. I remembered it started with a c—so cupon made sense to me. But I kept getting the red line beneath it. I tried copon, but that was also a fail.

Finally I asked a co-worker who immediately not only gave me the correct spelling but gave me a nifty way to remember the correct spelling forever. (I love it when friends do this for me!) She said “I owe you a coupon”—which, in our age of texting, gave me the perfect reminder. I o u helps me remember coupon has an o and a u. That is one auditory way to learn spelling.

We get information inside through what we SEE, HEAR, and DO—those are the 3 doors. For the most effective learning—use all 3. You do not have to figure out who is an auditory learner, or visual, or tactile—all who have eyes and ears and ability to participate are ALL of these.

We’ve already had Teaching Spelling Part 1—Visual.

Here are a few word-learning ideas you can HEAR.

Make up a phrase that emphasizes part of the word: I o u a coupon.
Mispronounce the word to emphasize part of a word to make it easier to hear the letters to spell: conSCIENCE. CUPboard
Sing a song: remember b-i-n-g-o (There was a farmer had a dog…) or b-o-l-o-g-n-a (“my bologna has a first name…)
Use rhythm: Miss iss ipp i
Try contrast: quietly say all the letters except the ones causing problems for you. SHOUT those letters.

Here are a few word-learning ideas you can DO.

Cheerlead the letters. If you’re not sure how, ask a cheerleader to spell the word y-e-l-l for you and they will probably stomp and clap in a specific way—they have done it many times.
Use motions with meaning. If learning there—swing one arm out to the side on the final e to remind yourself that there has to do with a location (over there). If learning their—stand up on the i to remind yourself that their has to do with people.
Clap or stomp—this helps especially on double letters. Or you can spell with a clap between syllable breaks.
Rainbow write while you say the letters (visual, auditory, and participation)—Write the word for the student so that it is spelled well and written in nice handwriting. The student can copy over the top a few times—changing colors each time—while saying each letter as they form it. (The word does end up mostly black.)

Your goal in teaching students how to learn words through what they SEE, HEAR, and DO is not just to get them learning the words. Teach them these strategies so they will know how to learn new things they encounter. The best learning incorporates all 3 doors.

What are words you learned through HEARING, SEEING, and/or DOING?

Teaching Spelling Using All 3 Doors—Part 1 VISUAL

Esther Wilkison — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 11:00:37 +0000

Little did I know when my friend and I entered the lunch room that she was about to forever change how I learned to spell. Once we were seated with our food trays my friend pulled a napkin out of the dispenser and pulled a pen out of her purse.

“Esther, do you know what French doors look like?”

I nodded yes, but she drew them for me on the napkin to make sure.

“There are two door knobs.”

As she explained—she added the two circles to represent door knobs. I kept nodding. Then she added the d and the r.

“That,” she explained, “is how you spell door.”

My friend knew I needed to know this word because she had been helping me edit my chapters for a novel-writing class I was taking. I used the word door quite often and she got tired of marking it for correction.

I’m guessing you didn’t wait till your last year of graduate school to learn how to spell the word door. I didn’t wait intentionally. I just struggled so much with spelling that I gave up trying. But then, I learned the word door in a way that opened my eyes to a different approach that lead to a different learning outcome.

In just a minute, with just one picture, I learned in such a way that I never forgot. I might still misspell door when writing creatively. I’ve been known to misspell my own name under such circumstances. But when I focus on re-copying what I’ve written so that I am actually seeing the word, I have never again struggled with this word.

What my friend did for me that day I’ve now done with lots of words (and lots of students). Learning a word VISUALLY can mean coming up with a picture that helps focus on the spelling (bonus points if your drawing helps convey a meaning of the word as well).

Another visual-learning idea is to box the word to help you pay attention to the length of the word and where it has ascenders (like the line of the d that goes up) and descenders ( like g, p, and q).

Using color to focus on things like double letters is also a visual-learning idea. These ideas especially help those of us with visual processing problems because it helps us better see the individual parts of the word (the trees inside the forest).

How I wish my teachers would have used an art approach like this instead of having me copy the word over and over. I usually misspelled it the first time and then copied it wrong each time. While copying words encouraged me to hate writing and handwriting, it did little or nothing to help me learn to spell any word.

When I teach spelling, I like to have a spiral bound art book for each student. If I find a word they struggle to spell correctly, they and their partner (which might be me) come up with a visual to help them. Here are some examples.

T-H-E-R-E has an arrow to help remind the learner that there has to do with a location—over there. T-H-E-I-R has to do with people so use a person for the letter i.
School–you keep your eyes on the teacher in school.

Boat and road- both spelled with an ‘oa’ in the middle.

As effective as these visuals are, this is only one of the three doors through which a child or adult can learn accurate spelling. The most powerful way to learn how to spell the word door—or any word—is to use all three doors at once.

What words have you taught or learned through a visual approach? How has that worked for you?

My Summer Reading Transformation

Esther Wilkison — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 13:07:43 +0000

If I had known the transformation that was about to occur, I would not have dreaded my required “Kiddy Lit” class in college. Officially, Children’s Literature was a block class which only met for a few weeks. However, the course work included a daunting list of required reading. It was impossible to do the extensive reading during the short course time, so the professor made the reading requirements clear before we left for vacation. I had all summer to do my homework. The list of titles looked overwhelming. I had not been a reader while young; I was still not a strong reader in college. Reading was hard and took me forever. I assumed this was just my destiny. Boy was I wrong. To gain a modicum of success, I began with what I affectionately call Baby Picture Books. As a rising college senior, books with pictures worked for me! I crossed off some titles and moved on up to books with pictures and words. The large font made the words easy to take in. The pictures and easy plots helped me with comprehension. I crossed off a few more titles. Next came the first chapter books. They had fewer pictures, but the font was still large which kept the line length short. The story lines were easy to grasp. I cross off more titles and moved on to children’s books with smaller fonts. When I needed a break from reading, I talked one of my sisters into reading to me. At times we took turns reading out loud to each other on alternating chapters. I could take you to the exact spot where we lounged in the sun while taking turns reading and listening to the The Little Prince. By summer’s end I was reading young adult fiction with a fair amount of both speed and comprehension. This was stunning! What had happened? How had Esther-the-struggling-reader become Esther-the-more-competent-and-confident-reader? Reading books way below my grade level developed the necessary skill of automaticity. My eyes had increased their ability to take in multiple words in one eye sweep motion. I had learned to do that skill with comprehension because the books I learned on were simple. Educators often speak of 3 reading levels—independent level, instructional level, and frustration level. Because I had visual processing problems, and because my teachers had always given me reading books where they thought I should be (instead of starting where I actually was)—I had lived my reading life at frustration level. I was working so hard at figuring out the words that I was not tracking with the meaning of the book at all. Since reading is getting meaning from print—I really was not reading. What I was doing (for years!) was tedious and ineffective. This is a fabulous way to kill a child’s desire to read. I didn’t know starting easy and working my way up was going to speed up my ability to process text effectively. I now realize—both from my experience and from helping so many others through this transformation—that a child reading a hard book often gets lost laboring over lines of rugged terrain. He or she will not develop the skill and automaticity that would come if they first had lots of hours of easy reading. The paved road of large letters, short lines, and easily-grasped concepts helps develop the brain connections we need to read well. Struggling as a reader may be your history, but it does not have to be your destiny.

Journaling Myths

Esther Wilkison — Thu, 05 May 2016 11:00:29 +0000

When I was 11 my parents decided to take us on the mother of all road trips. I’m not sure why the road trip was connected with writing in my mom’s mind, but it was. She bought me a notebook and encouraged me to write, as she did, about where we were going and what we saw along the way.

I probably rolled my eyes. The classic eye-roll was a skill I was working towards mastering at age 11. Looking back, I realize that my skepticism was because I had bought into many of the myths about journaling. Have you encountered any of these?

Myth 1: You have to write every day.
Truth: No, actually, you don’t. You can write once a week, once a month, or whenever you feel like it. That’s like saying if you play on a playground you have to play every day. A journal is just a playground for your pen.

Myth 2: You must write everything that happens to you in a day.

Truth: Yawn. For most people most days, this would be repetitive and dull. Events are not typically riveting. What we learn, how we grow, who we grow with—these are the things that happen on the backdrop of events.

Myth 3: You must write Dear Diary at the top and fill the page with sappy emotional run off.

Truth: Please don’t. There’s a place for knowing what you’re feeling, but major focus on self is not helpful.

Myth 5: You have to keep it hidden or the whole world will want to read it.

Truth: Older or younger siblings (if they still live near you) may want a glance to find evidence they can use against you. There are ways to keep them from getting such evidence while still journaling (think codes and being vague in areas that relate to self-preservation). As for the whole world wanting in on it? Na. The whole world is rather preoccupied elsewhere.

Myth 6: You must use complete sentences, perfect grammar, faultless spelling, and beautiful handwriting.

Truth: Some classroom teachers may have asked for this, but a personal journal is the place for brainstorming, play, and rough drafts, not perfection.

At first I believed the myths. Then, reluctantly, I began to try filling a few pages in a small notebook. Now I’ve filled over a hundred blank books of various sizes. Eventually I became an avid writer. I have now been journaling about as long as the Children of Israel were taking laps around Mount Sinai. What inspired me?

Inspiration 1: My mom wrote.

Her journals were not at all like mine, but every day I saw her writing. It was normal life. It was what the most important person in my life did. For fun. Almost every day.

Inspiration 2: I was challenged.

That summer my mom was trying to get me to write, I read a Sunday School paper about keeping a Miracle Notebook. The very thought had me picturing blank pages that would stay blank. After all, I thought, God never did miracles for me. But then something happened. I got saved. I realized that was a miracle so I wrote it down. Later that summer while working in a Christian camp, I got to lead someone to Christ. Another miracle. More miracles followed. Amazing how it works. What you look for you often see.

Inspiration 3: I found Psalm 62:8.

“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah” This verse became the purpose for my spilling ink all over so many thousands of blank pages every year since that summer road trip.

Don’t let the myths stop you. Find your inspiration. You never know who you will inspire.

How I’ve Used Hand Signals

Esther Wilkison — Thu, 21 Apr 2016 11:00:35 +0000

Hand signals have worked for me with both lower and upper elementary students. I have used some of these on occasion in ministry contexts with middle school and high school. I’m guessing you can find an application in the home as well.

Be aware that some hand signals mean different things to different cultures. You may need to modify or not use some of these.

1. Come.

This worked if I needed to call an individual up to my desk or out of an assembly. It also worked to line my students up after recess. Instead of calling out for my class to line up, I just stood where they needed to line up and held up my first finger. If students were pre-occupied playing, I just looked at my watch while continuing to raise that first finger. Students knew I was keeping track of the minutes they were loosing off the next recess if they didn’t come. As soon as someone saw me both giving the Come command and looking at my watch, they encouraged each other to come.

2. Be Quiet.

If class became too loud or if an individual needed to stop talking, I showed this command.

3. Please Be Seated.

I often used this to let the class know it was time go back to their chairs after partner time on the floor.

4. Keep Hands, Feet, & Objects to Yourself.

A student may protest, “But I didn’t touch him!” when a backpack or pencil or flying projectile is causing conflict between students. This command, hands, feet, AND OBJECTS covers a multitude of sins.

5. I Love You Very Much.

High-fives work great as children come in and as they leave for the day. My upper elementary boys used to hit me as hard as they could on high-fives. I always thanked them for letting me know how much they loved me. They rolled their eyes, of course, but I loved having a tangible way to let them know I loved them.

(For all my former students and youth group kids out there—#5 still applies!)

8. We will talk about this later.

It would make more sense for this to be a code 6. At one time I had something designated for 6-10, but 8 is the only one that became popular. I, and my students, used 8 for all the times when a topic came up that would better be discussed later. To make the 8 sign one handed—I held up 5 fingers on one hand, then brought my thumb and pointer finger together into an okay sign so 3 fingers were left showing.

Why bother with hand signals?

1) They save your voice. (I’ve learned the hard way what it’s like to have nodules. You don’t want to go there.)

2) They build class unity. (Or family unity, cabin unity, school unity, youth group unity.)

3) They give you a way to practice your “ministry of repetition” (to borrow a phrase from Jim Berg) while you “let your words be few” (to borrow a phrase from Ecclesiastes).

Why not give it a try? Use these or develop your own. Let me know what works for you.

Meltdowns

Esther Wilkison — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 11:00:38 +0000

You may be humming along in your home or classroom thinking all is fine when —BOOM! Seemingly out of nowhere one child has a meltdown. Forward momentum is completely stopped —perhaps for all, certainly for one.

Sobbing. Falling to the floor. Running away. Lashing out. Drama. Drama. Drama. It’s easy for the grown-up involved to heave a huge discouraged sigh. “Here we go again!” If you are not prone to meltdowns, you may not understand why some children (or grown-ups) tend to melt down when faced with an obstacle or pressure.

How do I know about meltdowns? If melting down were an Olympic sport, there were times in my life when I would have been a gold-medalist. While many children respond dramatically to frustrations for seasons of time (think terrible twos), for other children meltdowns come more frequently for more years and are far more intense. The full scope of causes and cures would take more than one blog post to address, but when I look back now to the meltdown queen I used to be this is what I would have liked to tell my parents and teachers.

Dear Parent or Teacher,

I’m not trying to ruin your day. If I knew how to respond in a different way—I would. But I don’t even think I have a choice in how I respond. When frustration takes over my brain I just cry or freak out automatically. I don’t see any other way to respond to the way I feel.

Note that word FEEL—that’s a hint to what’s going on here. I’m letting how I feel dominate me. I am not thinking or proactively doing things, I’m reacting to what I consider a life-ending threat. What looks to you like a meal you want me to eat or a math page you want me to do looks to me like an insurmountable obstacle. And tomorrow you plan to hand me another one.

Not only do I FEEL like I can’t do what you want. I FEEL like this marks the end. Not only do I think I’m a failure—I think I’ll never be different than I am, so I will always fail. This feels hopeless and I feel completely crushed.

And the crazy part? Somewhere deep inside I feel like I kind of DO understand how to do what you want but I can’t get it out the way others do. This frustration takes over. I don’t know how to deal with my feelings and down I melt.

I need to learn that my feelings can’t rule my actions. Right at the moment I’m melting down—such a lesson will probably not get through my sobbing. But when I can understand, in gentle ways at other times, please teach me that Jesus can set me free not only of my sin, but also set me free from the prison of life based on feelings. On my own I’m powerless to rule over my feelings, but Jesus can teach me that.

But there’s more going on here than just a lesson I need to learn. If a 3-year-old melts down at an obstacle or delay, adults tend to say things like, “Someone’s missed their nap time.” The behavior may be out of line, but we also take into consideration the necessity of things like regular sleep and regular meals.

Guess what? The toddler-behavior you are seeing out of me likely has some of it’s roots in the same needs. Some kids may adjust well to a life that changes all the time, but I desperately need food at regular intervals and solid nutrition. I may have blood sugar issues or dairy/gluten/sugar sensitivities that are making everything 100X worse for me.

If I had cancer, you would find some treatments—right? Well, I have a brain that gets inflamed, blood sugar that drops, all sorts of things going on physically that you can’t see but that are knocking out my brain’s ability to process. I may revolt when you try to take me off sweets or put me to bed earlier—but I still need your help to make right choices. I can’t cope with so many decisions. Teach me how to enjoy what I can enjoy apart from the foods and behaviors that are destroying my ability to process. Please help me get proper nutrition, sleep, and exercise.

One more thing to consider, you know how you say life get’s insanely busy? Well, that may be a way you exaggerate, but for me—when life is full of lots and lots of choices and stimuli day after day—it pushes me past the end of my processing ability. Please give me a routine and help me create or restore external order into my day and into my space.

I’m not saying you will always have to alter you life to accommodate me. Jesus can grow me in every area where I need to grow. I can learn the skills and develop the confidence to move beyond meltdowns. But right now I need some help. I’m quite literally crying out for it.

~Esther

P.S. Not every child melts down for the reasons I did, but I stand as living proof that God is fully capable of transforming a meltdown queen.

Back to the Shallows In Math

Esther Wilkison — Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:39:12 +0000

If math were a pool, the most successful swimmers would be those who were given ample time in their formative years playing (ie: developing skills) in the shallow end. In a real swimming pool a child learns the skills necessary for good swimming, such as how to float and how to blow bubbles out their nose while their face is under water. In the theoretical math swimming pool a child would start out by mastering place value.

Place value is to math what comprehension is to reading. Reading without comprehension is not reading at all because a child is not getting meaning from print. Knowing the value of each digit in a number is foundational to understanding everything one later does with numbers.

Often a child in elementary school is asked to look at a large number and underline, say the 100’s place. The student may randomly guess. Or he may learn that three digits in from the left is the 100’s place—but that does not mean he comprehends what that number in the hundred’s place means.

Math is central to the universe God created. We are made in the image of a mathematical God. Math can be learned, but it is hard to learn math (or anything else) while drowning in incomprehensible equations. Take a struggling student back to the shallows. Teach them the basics of place value with place value mats and manipulatives. Popsicle sticks can be rubber banded into clumps of 10. A large rubber band will fit around 10 clumps of 10 to make a 100-bundle. Once students learn how to picture the number 127 with the proper grouping of sticks on place value mats, connect that picture with understanding of the standard form (127) and expanded form (100 + 20 + 7) of a number.

Try using different types of manipulatives. Unifix cubes work well while working mostly with the tens and the ones place. Popsicle sticks are easy to find at craft stores. A base 10 set is my favorite tool to teach up to the thousands place. One dollar blls, ten dollar bills, and hundred dollar bills often hold student interest as well.

Will taking time to build understanding with manipulatives slow a student’s math progress? Actually—his math progress is already slowed because he was not taught the foundational skills. Accept this reality. When your student finds math hard, head back to the shallows to develop deeper understanding. Once he has the understanding, he will gain the confidence to begin to thrive.

“Knowledge is easy for a man of understanding.” (Proverbs 14.6b ESV)

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Seismic Worldview Shift

Esther Wilkison — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 01:43:00 +0000

I grew up near the San Andreas fault in Southern California. I know well what happens when the plates of the earth shift and settle. I also know what happens when my established way of thinking does the same. A mental seismic shift may not register on anyone’s Richter scale, but when your established way of viewing life shifts and re-settles, it can change forever how you understand God and how to live for Him.

Such a moment happened for me once when I heard my friend, Mark, telling the Bible account of David and Goliath. I knew well the story of the small shepherd using his sling shot to take out the giant, Goliath. I wasn’t expecting any profound revelations from such a well-known story. However, the game changer came when Mark asked “Who do you identify with in this account?”

I thought it must be a rhetorical question. I mean, I’m not the big bad guy challenging God. I’m not the wimpy royal leader or one of his quaking-in-fear soldiers. I want to be David—the champion who has the faith and skill to defeat all enemies. Out-manned and out-gunned, yet still winning the victory and saving the day. I especially like the part where all the fearful Israeli army follows David into conquest after Goliath goes down. Yeah. Leader! That’s what I want. Sign me up!

Mark (mercifully) didn’t have me voice my thoughts as he was teaching. He just gave me and the rest of his audience a moment to think about it. Then he explained a truth that shook my worldview to its core.

“The people in the story you should identify with are the quaking-in-fear Israeli solders,” he said. “You can’t defeat sin in your life—no matter how much you want to. But here’s the gospel truth—You have a Deliverer. David, the King from whose line Jesus would come, represents Jesus. Jesus went down into the valley. He went there for you. You get the salvation He won for You when He defeated the enemy.”

And so it is. On that long-ago battle field in the Valley of Elon, Goliath was killed and the enemy army routed. On that long-ago cross at Golgotha, Satan was crushed. My sin was defeated. Death died. And in that room listening to Mark that day, my worldview changed. It is the lie of moralism that says “try to be good like David.” That’s a lie because David of himself was not good. It’s a lie to think anything in me can be on-my-own good.

The worldview that won in my heart that day was the Gospel which says—I have a Savior! Jesus won the victory. I am in Christ. Victory is mine because Christ won it for me.

Decades before hearing that Bible account from Mark I had trusted Jesus to save me from my sin. However, a few minutes hearing Mark’s Gospel-based account produced the seismic-shift in my worldview that has helped me understand how to live out my salvation in the power of Christ.

Thank you, Jesus, for winning the victory over my sin and my death. Thanks for sending a Christ-focused teacher to alter my worldview.

Why I’m Glad I’m a Slow Learner

Esther Wilkison — Wed, 23 Mar 2016 08:00:31 +0000

I’ll admit it. School was not always a fun place to be a slow learner. Some classmates thought me dull. Some teachers considered me lazy at first, then defiant. Not doing work at an acceptable (or accelerated) pace must be direct disobedience, or so some thought.

I have been a teacher, so I understand how much easier it is if all children catch on quickly. It allows the teacher to plow through even more material at a rapid pace. However, plowing through does not equal effective learning. Quite the contrary.

The first time I made French onion soup I started by making my own bone broth. Talk about time consuming! Yet the flavor and nutrition of a sumptuous meal satisfies much longer than fast food. The same is true when time and care is taken with lessons so learners can savor the flavor of what they learn. Quality makes a greater impact on learning than quantity.

I’m glad I’m a slow learner for at least 3 reasons.

1) Slow learning makes me mentally tough. Endurance is developed by sticking with hard things. While others appear to easily be lifting 5 pound weights when learning, the load for me is more like a 25 pound weight. I can either whine about how much harder it is for me, or I can be glad I’m getting stronger.

2) Slow learning gives me a better view. The scenic route may be less efficient than the interstate, but driving on back roads gives a better understanding of the area. Perhaps this is part of the reason why some students who appear slower at learning have a deeper understanding of the big picture.

3) I’m better able to help others learn. I usually have to find the back door or side windows to access the information that others seem to easily grasp. This is helpful when working with others who don’t immediately grasp the standard explanations.

Whether you consider yourself a fast or slow learner, don’t pursue just what is easy. Embrace the challenge of learning in the areas where it is harder for you. And if you work with some slow learners—embrace them as well. Chances are good they could use some encouragement as they keep curling their 25 pound weights.

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Open the Door

Esther Wilkison — Sun, 20 Mar 2016 08:00:57 +0000

I tried out for a part in a musical once. I was one of the last to audition. While waiting, I heard the same lines sung over and over and over. I had those lines down cold! Yet, when it was finally my turn, I reversed the first two lines. I never sang in that musical—or any other.

Back then I thought such a failure was confirmation that I was flawed and couldn’t learn. One attempt. One blunder. Game over. How silly is that! No one is born knowing how to beast an audition. Even experienced performers sometimes fumble.

If I had known then what I know now—I could have laughed at my mistake and pondered ways to improve at the next audition. Instead I took that setback as proof positive that I was flawed and could never change.

Lack of skill does not mean a door is forever closed. It just means you lack skill. And here’s the good part—you have learned all kinds of skills in your life so far. Chances are good you can walk, talk, feed yourself, and a thousand other things you didn’t know how to do when you were born.

For a while I was influenced by the idea that “smart” or “talented” people don’t have to learn; doors swing open automatically for them. Don’t be misled by this wrong idea. What we call talent can be traced to a learning curve traveled well. (If you don’t believe me, check out the research in The Talent Code or Talent is Overrated or Mindset.) Perhaps some ways of learning have failed you in the past. I’m not saying to keep trying what doesn’t work. I’m not saying “Just try harder.” There are different approaches to learning. We can find them if we understand that we are specially designed to learn. We may learn differently, but different is not defective. We’re not flawed; we’re learners.

What doors do you think are closed to you? Is it time to take up drawing or dancing, karate or cooking? Time to learn skills in communication that could transform a struggling relationship? Time to improve your handwriting or homemaking? Time to stop saying “I just don’t do well with names” and start learning the skills necessary to do well with names?

Not all the closed doors have to be opened. I’m not pining for the opportunity to sing in a musical. But there are benefits to learning things you have considered impossible. Worlds of opportunities to grow and help others await you!

In order to take on new learning changes, you may need a regular dose of inspiration, strategies, and encouragement. If so, please sign up for this blog. We’ve got some doors to open.

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